Blast from the Past: Molly on the Potty

Potty training Molly Toddler was a marathon. We started when she turned two, and she wasn't really potty trained until a month after she turned three.

She became a master in the arts of evasion and dramatics during this time. It was both incredibly frustrating and completely hilarious. The following anecdotes are in no particular order, but they happened over the last year and a half:

I told Molly she was going to get a "super surprise" if she pooped in the potty. She immediately and excited guessed "Mommy- is it a picture of the statue of liberty?!" (She's a little obsessed)

Molly was carrying a Super Why "potty present" into the bank. When the teller asked what her toy was, Molly yelled "ITS FOR GOING POOPOO!!!" in the otherwise silent bank.

In the middle of a great tantrum on the potty, Molly suddenly calmed down and started deep relaxing breathing. I complemented her and she said "Shhhh Mommy. I'm just sleeping. I can't potty!". (She has since developed voluntary situational narcolepsy. I imagine it's quite convenient :-p)

Molly was tooting on the potty. I asked her if she needed to poop and she said "No, my poop is in the bed." Greatly alarmed, I asked her what she meant. She said "My poop can't go in the potty: it's sleeping in a pretend bed!".

Once, in great frustration, I cried "Molly, I wish I had a big girl who didn't poop in her pants!". She answered "Well, what about Lucy?". (As if 2 month old Lucy could take Molly's place on the potty so that her big sister could continue wearing diapers...)

Molly started (and continues) to vividly and

accurately describe the results of a successful potty experience:

• "It's kinda like a finger"
• "Is it a potato?"
• (when two pieces rested at a right angle) "Look! It's a letter T!"
• "Aww... it's a family! Look, that one is a liiiiiiiiitle baby. And that one is the mommy. Look, the mommy is feeding the baby like you feed baby Lucy!

What is the funniest thing your kid did during the potty training process?

Color Me Mad

The Toddlers girls were happily playing in Molly's room. I went in to check on them after an appropriate interval (10 minutes). I was greeted by the sight of a Lucy's face, a dozen toys, and the carpet covered with "blood".

After a two second panic attack, I realized that Lucy was quite happy and not in immediate danger of bleeding out. So, eyes blazing with mommy madness, I turned to Molly.

Me (in a a voice that might have been louder than absolutely necessary): WHAT IS ON LUCY'S FACE?

Molly: I don't know

Me: WHAT IS ON LUCY'S FACE?

Molly: I think it's red paint!

Further inspection revealed tubes of hot pink and orange gel food coloring.

Molly: I just found it in Kitchen. On the counter. With my stool...

Me: You do NOT use Mommy's food coloring. We have to throw away your Curious George!

Molly: NOOOOO! And the bear and Baby Heather too?

I looked a saw that she had carefully put food coloring on a stuffed bear's nose and tummy. Then, I saw what I believe to be her motivation for the entire incident:

Me: Molly, did you try to paint Baby Heather's toe nails?

Molly: Yes! I just wanted to help Baby Heather feel better.

We were able to salvage Baby Heather, the green floor rug, Lucy's pants, and several hard plastic toys. Lost forever are Lucy's shirt, a teddy bear, some doll clothes, Curious George, and our ability to ever sell this house without replacing the carpet.

I made Molly take her Curious George outside, tell him goodbye forever, and throw him in the big trashcan. Hopefully it will stick with her for the next time she decides to play beauty salon...

Monday Highlights 2/28/11

Lucy Toddler's babbling is starting to sound more and more like actual conversation. Today I swear it sounded like she said "Where's the ball mommy?". I actually looked around for Molly because I thought she'd said it, and she was nowhere to be found. Lucy officially "Dog" to her vocabulary today :-) She likes to press her face against the back door and babble to them.

Molly Toddler got a balloon at the grocery store on Saturday. It has since deflated and disappeared. This morning she got very upset because she couldn't find it.

Molly: WHERE is my orange balloon!

Me: I don't know sweetie, I think it might be gone.

Molly: Is it floating in the beautiful blue sky?

Me: I don't think so, but it might have gotten outside.

Molly: I KNOW! Remember snow,steam, and water? Snow melts into water... I think the balloon is gone because it MELTED!

I should have asked her what it melted into- I bet she would have had a fabulous explanation.

Sudden Early Risers

The Toddler girls have decided to start waking up almost 2 hours earlier than normal. Daddy and I are not amused. The thing is, we can't figure out why!

It might be that they've been sick and their sleep schedules are messed up. It could be that it's getting light earlier, but that's been a gradual thing that wouldn't explain the sudden change. I'd blame an outside bus-stop noise, but they woke up early this weekend too.

They both have curtains that make their rooms dark, and they both have fans to block out outside noise. Their bedtime hasn't changed, nor has their nap schedule. Maybe that I need to cut out Lucy's morning nap, and stop letting Molly nap entirely.

This is putting a kink in our mornings since daddy is used to getting up and getting out without anyone else getting in the way. He's a quite frustrated with all the "helpers" in the mornings, and I'm not sure what can be done to fix it.

At this point, I'm just holding on until Spring Leap. This at least will trick Daddy and I into thinking the girls are sleeping later. Til then, any suggestions would be welcome!

Sunday Highlights 2/27/11

Molly (playing with play-dough): I'm making a Robot Dolly-house!

Me: Molly get your baby blanket and we'll snuggle and sing in the chair.

Molly (hysterically): This is NOT my baby blanket! It's my super cape.

Me: Ok, well then put it on the floor

After singing...

Me: Molly, why don't you grab your super cape and take it to your room in case it turns back into a baby blanket.

Molly (Looking at me like I've lost my mind): Um.. It's not a cape, it's my baby blanket!

Molly was fussing after we put her in her room for the night. I went in to tell her to get back in bed and go to sleep.

Molly: Mommy, I don't love you!

Me: Yes you do

Molly: No, I don't.

Me: Sweetie you are just feeling cranky. You still love me, and I love you and I'll see you in the morning.

Molly: I think I just don't love you when I'm cranky.

Toddler Translations: Flock vs Pile

A few weeks ago, Molly Toddler and I were stopped at an intersection.

Molly: Hey mom, look at all those birds.

Me: Wow, sweetie- that's a lot of them.

Molly: It's a pile of birds!

Me (after I stopped laughing): Well, it's a big group of

birds. But they're not really in a pile. They're sitting side by side on the power lines. Things are only a pile if they're stacked- kind of like plates. But the birds do look a little like a sideways pile...

Seizing the moment, I began to talk to her about what to call groups of animals (herds, schools, etc.)

Me: ...and a big group of birds like that is called a flock of birds.

Molly (sighing): Um no mommy. I really think it's just a pile.

A few days ago, we were driving around town again and she saw a huge flock of birds in the sky.

Molly: Mommy! Do you see all those birds? Do you know what we call a flock of birds?

Me: What do we call them?

Molly:..........

Me: Did you mean to ask what do we call a group of birds?

Molly: Yes! What do we call them?

Me: We call them a flock.

Molly: That's right mommy! You're such a smart girl!

Thanks kiddo :-)

Saturday Highlights 2/26/11

We were out and about today, so I didn't get to write things down as they happened. Here are a few cute things that stuck with me.

While we were driving around town today, Molly told me "Mommy... I really love driving with you! And talking with you!".

When we were in the dressing room at a store, Molly started taking off her clothes because she wanted to pretend to try something on.

Molly asked: "May I please have a sucker for being a very good patient??!!" (She's still reliving her doctor's appointment from a couple days ago)

Molly (looking at my pigtails): What is that?

Me: They're my pigtails.

Molly: Oh... it looks like a broom!

Solid, liquid, and laughing gas

Molly: Why is the the strawberry stuff red, but the strawberry milk is pink?

Me: Because red strawberry syrup plus white milk makes pink strawberry milk.

Molly: Silly mommy.... that's not syrup. Syrup is brown!

Me: Well, there are different kinds of syrup. Syrup isn't just for pancakes, it's a type of liquid with a certain viscocity. (yes, I realize she had no idea what I was saying here, but that's how they learn, right?)

Molly:What's a liquid?

Me: Things like water, milk, and syrup are liquids. Things like ice, cereal, and wood aren't liquids. They're called solids.

Molly: Oh...

Me: Is a cracker a liquid or a solid?

Molly: Solid!

Me: Is juice a liquid or a solid?

Molly: Liquid!

This went on for a while, culminating in:

Molly: Mommy! Guess what!

Me: What?

Molly: A baby's not a liquid.

Friday Highlights 2/25/11

Molly likes to sit in Lucy's walker. Today she decided to take it to a whole new level. I walked into the room to find her standing on the tray. When I yelled at her to get down she did, and then asked in a very hurt voice "Mommy... WHY are you mad at me?".

(Because kiddo- I don't want to clean your brains off the floor)

Lucy said "uncle" to her uncle Ry for the first time today. He was thrilled :-)

Molly came up and gave me a very tight, long hug. She said "Mommy that's all my love! It's BIG LOVE!".

At lunch Molly was eating a tortilla.

Molly: Mommy, is this a really big tortilla.

Me: Yes sweetie- It's big. In spanish, you say "grande". That's a grande tortilla.

Molly: A "Wrong Day" tortilla???

Me: Molly stop lifting up your dress!

Molly: But I'm being a butterfly! I'm flapping my wings up and down!

(it actually kind of worked as a butterfly-like motion)

Me: I'm going to go to the bank in a little bit.

Molly: Oh! Would you please pick me up a sucker while you're there?

(because my child is 3 going on 30)

Around the time Brian got home tonight, Molly began to lose it. After several minutes of her fussing, I asked if her ear hurt. She said it did, so I went to get her ear drops. She then began wailing and flailing, claiming her ear was "much much better". Neither Brian nor I bought it, and he got to witness and assist in a reenactment of yesterday's crocodile death roll.

Since I didn't get a video of the ordeal, it went something like this:

Maybe next time, we'll get some more people to help.

Toddler Translations: Molly on "Ogres"

Molly Toddler likes to interpret what her little sister says. She has no regard for the size of Lucy's vocabulary, and simply goes by what things sound like to her 3 year old ears.

This morning, Lucy was talking to her almost empty sippy cup. She made a babbling noise and the following conversation took place:

Molly: Did you hear that Mommy? Lucy said 'Ogre'!

Me: Really? What's an ogre?

Molly:.... Mommy, can you tell me what's an ogre?

Me: No, what do you think it is?

Molly: I think it's kinda like a big scary ghost.

Not a bad guess I suppose... Stay tuned for more Toddler Translations. They happen all day, every day around here!

Update: Molly saw the picture of Shrek and...

Molly: what's his name?

Me: That's Shrek.

Molly: Is he happy?

Me: Looks like it.

Molly: I think he's kind of a little bit scary. What does he do?

Me: I don't know sweetie.

Molly: I think he like to fight people.

Again, that's a pretty darn good deduction...

Beware the penguins

Molly Toddler received a sucker at the doctor today. She ate a little of it, and then put it on the living room on the coffee table. During her nap-time, I threw it out. She knows better than to leave half eaten suckers in the living room.

This evening, she asked where it was and began looking for it. I told her it was gone. She asked what happened. I gazed meaningfully at the trashcan and said "You left it on the coffee table Molly. That was bad manners. What happens when little girls leave their lolly-pops on the table?"

She grinned a mischievous grin and shouted "I think that PENGUINS ate it!"

Maybe they're in cahoots with the elves?

Meet Michael

A few weeks ago, there was a new addition to our family: Molly announced the arrival of her brother Michael. We've officially entered the world of imaginary friends.

When asked, she will consistently answer as follows:

What's your brother's name?

Michael Sullivan

How old is he?

He's 3 years old

What does he look like?

He has black hair like Mommy, and blue eyes

like daddy.

Is he bigger or smaller than you?

He's my biggest brother!

Michael and Molly play very well together. They never hit, throw toys, or yell at each other, and are constantly saving each other from dragons, having tea parties, and making mischief. Molly draws pictures of him, shares her food with him, and craftily blames him for messes and accidents.

I'm looking forward to learning more about Michael, and will keep you posted on Molly and his many adventures.

Pink: it's not even a question

When a very pitiful, feverish Molly woke up this morning she had only one request:

Molly: Mommy, can we go to the doctor and get some pink medicine for my ear?

Me: Of course sweetie

Molly: Good. Cause I think there's a rabbit and a bug in my ear.

Yeah... I'm sure that's the problem ;-)

I assured her that we would go to the doctor but, because Lucy had physical therapy this morning, she had to wait about 5 hours from the time she woke up to when we actually went. When I got home from Lucy's appointment, Molly was passed out next to her uncle/babysitter. It wasn't even 11:00am- poor kiddo.

After prying her out of bed, we went to the pediatrician's office. Molly perked up a little at the sight of "Pin-oh-co-nose" playing in the waiting room, though she was a little upset that she didn't get to sit in the room with the TV (it's in the "well" waiting room).

Upon looking in her ear, the doctor said she had a very bed ear infection. Molly gave the pediatrician a very serious look and carefully said "may I please have some pink medicine to make my ear feel better?".

Then there was a shot. It's amazing to me how it takes 2 adults to hold down a 29lb 3 year old. It's like a teeny tiny crocodile death roll... She still managed to whip her bottom around at just the wrong moment and cut herself on the needle. Afterwards, she waddled around like a duck for twenty minutes whining about the owie on her bottom:-(

As we were leaving, the doctor told me that he wasn't sure what color the medicine would be. I told Molly this and she got extremely upset. Improvising, I offered pink candy to be taken with the medicine if it was not pink. This was deemed acceptable.

After putting Molly down for another nap, I went to the Target pharmacy hoping that they could change the color of the medicine if needed. Luckily, it was already pink.

The Domino Effect

At least one Toddler has been sick for the last 2 weeks. The domino effect began (I think) when Lucy picked up a nagging cough from Mother's Day Out. When I took the girls to the doctor on Monday, Molly did not want to cooperate.

Molly: I don't want to go to the doctor. I'm all better.

Me: But sweetie, you're coughing...

Molly: It's ok- I'll just cover my mouth. That will make it all better!

Riiiiight...

On Monday, Lucy was diagnosed with her very first ear infection. Not bad considering that she's over a year old though it was a pretty crappy birthday present. Happily, she seems much better after a few days of antibiotics and several sleeps with a humidifier. :-)

Last night, I felt the first stirring of a tickle in the back of my throat, and this morning Molly woke up with a fever and pitifully told me her ear hurt. So it's back to the pediatrician...

Sigh... Score one for contagious illness :-p

Pacifier Conspiracy

Has this happened to you? You baby is down to one paci, despite the fact that you KNOW there are 20 pacifiers in your child's room. You make a trip to the one store in town that carries your child's favorite kind.

When you arrive home, the other 19 pacis magically appear during the next 24 hours. We're talking pacis in every room, on every surface, and under every bed. Where were the darn things the day before when you were leading a panicked pacifier search party?

I'm convinced that Nuk employs pacifier elves that live in my house. They hide pacis so we have to buy more, and then unearth them as soon as the new ones cross the threshold. There is no other explanation for the 6 old pacis that I found yesterday after I bought 4 new ones last week.

Wednesday Highlights

The Toddlers were on their game this afternoon. Here are a few highlights:

Me: Molly you need to get in bed and take a nap.

Molly: Mommy, why are you telling me to get back in bed? I was just sipping some pretend tea at the picnic.

Me: You can have a picnic after your nap.

Molly: But I'm not READY:-(

I left the kitchen after giving Molly an introduction to grating cheese. I came back in a minute later to find her with a mouthful of cheese and a guilty look. She said "Mommy, I tried to slice the cheese, but I couldn't so I just ate it all up!". Luckily, she'd only eaten a little...

Lucy was in Molly's room, delightedly banging a metal baking tin with a spatula. Molly walked in, grabbed a paper towel roll, and started pretending it was a "trumpet". Apparently, this is accomplished by putting one end in your mouth and yelling as loud as you can. Not to be outdone, Lucy took the spatula she was using as a drumstick, put it in her mouth, and started squealing away.

Molly had a bunch of post it notes and a pencil...

Me: What do you think you're doing?

Molly: I'm taking a test.

Me: Oh really? What is a test?

Molly: It's when I turn into a princess!

(I realized later that she was referencing Dora's Fairy Tale adventure...)

Molly is scooting around on her bottom and using a spatula to "sweep up some peanut butters" from the floor.

And now Molly has used the spatula to hit Lucy because she was trying to come into her room-I gotta go...

Night Time Requests

Lucy Toddler started sleeping through the night 3 weeks ago. However, 2 1/2 weeks ago, she figured out how to roll from back to front. And 5 days ago, she figured out how to sit up on her own. Though I am thrilled that her physical therapy is working, it's made bedtime quite a challenge.

As soon as we put her down, Lucy whips around and up into a sitting position. She's always quite proud of herself, and grins her goofy toothy grin. The problem is that she can't really get back onto her tummy yet, so she ends up sleeping in some rather odd positions. Or screaming bloody murder until Mommy or Daddy come back in to lay her back down.

Last night, she woke up at 3am. Daddy went to check on her, changed her diaper, and put her back down. She promptly, rolled over, sat up, and pitifully requested "Uck". She has *mostly* weaned from middle of the night nursing, but when a baby specifically signs MILK and asks for "uck" at 3 in the morning, what can you do but give her some. And when she asks for it at 5 am, you give it to her again. Because you both know who's really in charge. Hint- it's not the person changing the diaper.

The reason I'm doing this...

I have no idea how it happened. When did these people:

Become these people?

Since I can't stop them from growing up way too fast, I'm going to chronicle as many of their adventures and misadventures as I can. They never cease to amaze and amuse me, and stories of their antics are always enjoyed by our family and friends. I hope you enjoy them too!